**Warning this post contains graphic content.
Soren Hawthorne Usher was born at 4:38 PM on August 19th, 2016. He was born 8lbs and 13.5 oz and was 21 inches in length. This is our birth story:
On August 18th, 2016 I was 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and I was more than ready to have my baby! I made an appt with the midwife for the 3pm that day to have my membranes swept again and to talk about doing a castor oil smoothie. We would try the smoothie in the AM of the 19th if the membrane sweep didn't work. During my sweep I was 5cm dilated and almost fully effaced.
I started cramping lightly almost immediately but didn't want to get excited as the same thing had happened at my sweep a few days earlier. So I went to the store and picked up some castor oil and mentally prepared myself for the thought of having to drink in the next morning. As the day progressed I had light cramping and lost some of my mucous plug. As these were all symptoms I had experienced before I tried to stay calm. When Jacob got home from work we ate a spicy meal and went on a nice long walk up and down a hill near our house. We got home and I rolled and bounced on the yoga ball. My cramping started to get more noticeable than it ever had before but the cramps were not any closer together or any more intense so we decided to go to bed.
I had such a strong feeling at this point that I was going into labor that it was very difficult for me to sleep. Around midnight I "woke up" and timed my contractions-they were 10 minutes apart and consistent. I decided it was time to call my midwife. Constance told me to try to rest as much as possible to prepare for what lay ahead. I did my best to do what she asked, but it was starting to get very hard to rest as the contractions were getting to the point where they woke me up. At 4:30 AM, after laying in bed and tossing and turning, I decided to get up and take a bath. The bath was wonderful, it calmed down the contractions and allowed me to actually rest for a little while. However as soon as I got out of the tub the contractions intensified.
Jacob woke up and made breakfast as I called the midwife. At this point contractions were varying from 5 to 3 minutes apart and getting to be uncomfortable. Constance decided it was go time and we agreed to meet at the Birth House at 7 AM.
As we arrived at the Birth House their two birth rooms were being cleaned from babies born that morning. Constance checked me and asked us to go take a walk and when we came back our room would be ready. We walked around the Eastside neighborhood, stopping every 5 or so minutes to slow-dance me through another contraction. At this point I had begun to moan to help with the pain of the contractions. I felt every contraction through my outer thighs and abdomen. By the time we came back to the Birth House it was around 8AM and my doula, Rianne had arrived.
The hours spent laboring passed by. I mostly labored in the bath and spent a lot of time changing positions to try and turn Soren from the left side to the right side. Because he didn't seem to be turning Constance decided to try to physically push him out of my pelvis and have me walk up and down the staircase to have him come back down into my pelvis with his head facing the correct way. I had to walk up and down that damn staircase 5 times. Rianne and Jacob were with me, one ahead and one behind, Jacob my support in the front, Rianne squeezing my hips in the back.
We went back to the room and I was starting to feel tired and anxious. I wanted to know if I was progressing, I wanted to know when my baby would be there. I wanted to know how much longer I would be laboring. Renee, the student midwife, checked Soren's heartbeat and sure enough it was on the right side! Although I didn't know it at the time, he was still in the wrong position, but this gave me the boost of confidence I needed to power through and continue to labor.
Around 1 PM I got back into the tub to labor. Contractions were getting long and very intense. I was moaning loudly and sometimes screamed. Rianne reminded me to keep it low and deep, this helped so much with the pain. Being able to focus on my voice rather than the pain made it bearable.
At 1:30PM Constance came in to check me. She said I was dilated to 8cm in the front of the cervix and 9cm in the back. She pulled her hand out and my water broke! It was clear so we all breathed a sigh of relief knowing there was no meconium passed yet. Constance looked me right in the face and said with a very serious look "Okay Kaitlyn, contractions are going to get very close together, and very intense." And she was not lying. They started to come on very quickly and I could feel Soren's head on my pelvic bone much more than ever before. I felt like pushing after around 15 minutes and Constance told me to listen to my body, so I pushed.
After laboring in the tub for a while, Constance suggested I sit backwards on the toilet. As much as I hated moving, as it triggered contractions, I trusted her and got into position. It was while on the toilet that I started to feel the real pushes beginning. Because I wanted a water birth, I got back into the tub. This was around 2:45 PM. I remember my hips were killing me, the most pain I've ever felt, and I kept asking Jacob to squeeze them together. While Constance told me "You need those hips to spread for him to come through, you need to breathe through the pain Kaitlyn." This was when the major physical assistance from my doula and Jacob stopped. Jacob stayed by my side, of course, to rub my bad and my head, but I was not begging him to squeeze or rub harder anymore.
Constance had me in all sorts of positions in the tub because Soren was stuck in my pelvic bone at first, and then under my sacrum. I hated her for moving me so much but I don't think he every would have come out if it wasn't for her knowledge of the human body and birth positions.
So real quick I just need to say that there is nothing like "pushing." I always thought that it was just you pushing, like on the toilet when you have to poop. For me, and I know it's different for every woman, my body completely took over. With every contraction my whole body centered all of it's energy on getting the baby out. I had no idea what my body was capable of, the power, the intensity. It was a crazy feeling and Constance encouraged me to add to my body's power by trying to physically focus my pushes at my perineum.
Constance held the base of my perineum to give me something to push towards, she had me squat in the tub and push with all of my might. We tried this for several minutes but Soren was staying in the same place. So she asked me if I was alright getting out of the tub. I told her if it got him out, then yes. So I moved to the bed. I feel like my birth was partially a game of musical chairs...
On the bed I got onto my back and pushed. Jacob was applying pressure to my perineum and I was holding the top of my vagina, feeling Soren's head come out further with every push. His head kept coming out and then going back in. With every contraction and every push everyone cheered "He's coming!" "He's right there!" Finally Constance said "Stop." She had the nurse get behind her with the nurse's hands crossed over her shoulders, holding my hands. Then she had me put my feet on her shoulders. She said "Kaitlyn, with this next push I want you to pull your hands and push your legs."
With my next contraction I pushed with all my strength, my mind was completely centered on bringing my child earth side. I pulled with my hands and pushed with feet and Constance yelled "Stop!! Jacob, come here!!" And I knew at that moment that he was here. I pushed through the contraction and kept pushing until another contraction came on to bring out his shoulders and body. And then Constance told me to sit up and see my little boy. And that was the first time that I saw my son.
In closing I want to say that my labor was by no means easy. I wanted an un-medicated, mostly unassisted birth since before I can remember. While I was successful in achieving my dreams there are many moments when I wanted to quit, many times that I yelled that I was done and couldn't do it anymore. But I pushed forward, I kept going, because I knew that in the end I would get what I've been waiting for for over 7 years- my long awaited rainbow baby. Thank you to Constance, Renee, Kathy (the midwife assistant), Rianne and most of all Jacob. I am so happy to have completed this amazing journey of pregnancy and childbirth with my best friend and love by my side. I can't wait to do it with you again!
All photos are copyright of Kaitlyn Texley and Mark Swanson
